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Sunday, June 12, 2011
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Men's Fashion Digest 2007-2011
After scouring the fall fashion magazines I have come up a digest of what I'm hoping to procure this fall. To most fashion is superfluous and insignificant. They're wrong. It is an expression of oneself. It says who you are, where you've been and how you got there without ever really saying a word that is unless you'd like it to. I'm a snappy dresser and not very trendy and having worked in fashion in one way or another for ten+ years I'd say I'm an expert at this sort of thing. Hopefully this bit will help you in not looking like shit around the countless upcoming birthdays and holidays or spoiling photo ops with family and friends.
Weekender Bags:
It's a good idea to get one of these guys. It's great for travel or laundry and it looks good just lying around or at the gym. One place you shouldn't look like a schlub is the airport (except when you're flying first class) and (if you must do your own), the laundromat. The best one I saw was from Barneys Private Label. Durable cotton canvas, sturdy, came in white, black, green and white but the best color was orange. It ran about $275 which I think is a lot but it looked great and was the perfect size.
Other versions I liked were; Cole Haan, Dolce & Gabbana, Louis Vuitton, Tods, T. Anthony, Jil Sander, Kenneth Cole and Jack Spade. Don't pay more than $250. Check LL Bean, and Banana Republic. Just make sure it's lightweight, not too loud, has handy compartments and closes properly with snaps or zippers. Leather is nice and doesn't give nearly as much as nylon or canvas but lasts longer and looks better as it ages. Maybe do both.
Aviators:
Whenever we're at war, aviators (and flight jackets) come back and why not? They're stylish and you must protect your eyes (and cargo pockets are good particularly on a jacket). I lose eyewear a lot but that doesn't deter me from coveting those which fall into the 3 digit price range (Persol, Cutler & Gross, Giorgio Armani). The best ones I've seen this season are from Ray-Ban. Mirrored or just polarized green, blue or red they get it right each time and they're durable and iconoclastic and reasonably priced at around $85-110. Even ugly people look choice in them.
Perry Ellis also has a very nice pair for a bit cheaper and Mossimo has a fab pair for $20 (the fab part). Or better yet take the bread you would have spent on the Armani occhiali and buy like 8 pair of cheapo ones at the gas station. Wearing them at night says I'm rich and high.
Polos:
Now I've consulted with some of my fashion forward friends on this. I'm torn about whether wearing a bright solid or striped polo shirt is appropriate if you're not in fact playing polo (I once saw Le Tigre wearing in fact Le Tigre and I thought, fuck that's so caucasian in the best possible way not ironic but iconic!) The answer is yes apparently. I'm told that the way it's worn is what counts. Growing up in Piedmont, California, in the '80's, 'tweens (myself included) used to wear a different polo shirt everyday, sometimes two at a time. Wearing two is stupid.
The modern way to wear polos is almost like a fashion magazine spread: with a tie as a belt. I object to this style because it looks like you're trying too hard which is never the look I want to rock but I can't deny that in the right manner the look is dope. Also I just bought an orange ribbon belt from Old Navy which looks hot is cheap as hell and looks preppylicious with a polo.
My fashion sages also say one look to sport is luxe meaning cashmere or light Italian merinos with or without buttons. I was also told to steer clear of big labels or insignia (too common unless you're on the Cape) go for layering with a jean jacket and/or blazer and try long sleeves. Neutral colors that fit or Paul Smith- like stripes will create that sophistication that will set you apart from the pack. The best brands are still Polo Ralph Lauren and Lacoste especially and run about $75- 100. Ralph has the new trendy oversized polo player emblem now. Avoid these.
Getting them in off colors like taupe, grey and pink are good but I'd go for black, white and red too. The type I want this season are from Fred Perry, Marc Jacobs and J Crew which has a dizzying array of striped versions and there is always a good sale both in stores and online for around $20. Cheerio!
Sneakers
A good pair of tennis shoes are key this season and only a few classics will fit the bill. Black or white are evidently the only real options with a preference for white. Very Pharell. Adidas' Stan Smiths, Rod Lavers or Sambas look choice with nearly every outfit this fall and always look stylish and sexy and are reasonably priced around $60 -80. I cannot resist a guy in Sambas yet I often must.
K-Swiss and Puma also make a very simple no frills sports shoe that is tres sportif. I also think Vans rock. I'm going with three pairs of sneakers because this is pretty much all that I wear. I bought a pair of Golas for $40 marked down from 85 at a summer closeout. I want a pair of white Converse lowtop Chuck Taylors ($40) and some Asics($45) I think any more than $100 for a pair of tennis shoes is excessive. John Varvatos cannot change the fact that part of the shoe is made from rubber.
Cordovans and Brogues
A good pair of Italian leather shoes will never fail you but, if you can afford it, get a pair of cordovans, which are very basic dress shoes which resemble bucks. The trend for this season is to wear them shiny without socks and with shorts, a look that few, if any straight man should attempt since you'll only drive homos wild with desire and turn chicks off. But it is a good look with the right shoe.
I was in Chicago many years ago and bought a pair of them from Johnston & Murphy ($210) and wore them everywhere and they got me noticed (and laid) and it made my life better albeit it briefly. Shoes can change your life so let them and invest in them wisely and often. Great shoes can transform a mediocre outfit. Women know this.
To Boot by Adam Derrick, Jil Sander, Church's and Giorgio Armani do a beautiful job with leather soled brogues and cordovans. JM Weston, John Lobb and Fratelli Rossetti are also fabulous but can run from $350 to 1000. Just remember: Shoes say a great deal about you and how you live your life and that's important when you don't feel like talking about it. I'm holding out for some vintage Ferragamo wingtips and I want suede Gucci loafers. I left my beloved Banana Republic ones at a rooftop Halloween party in Bushwick (no, it wasn't crack). I don't recall what I wore home but I took a cab so I just walked upstairs in socks. Cashmere socks from Monique from Ilux.
Jeans: Black and White + Colored Chinos
I would kill for a pair of Dolce & Gabbana jeans.
Recently I once had a heated discussion with my Mom about the rationale of spending $300 and up for a pair of jeans. My Mom was unclear what the point of that was and I should never have told her. All I could say in response to her was that jeans were like underwear. Fit and intimacy. You want your jeans to be special and fit you just the way you like them. Levi 501s are just as fine and at $50 a much better value not to mention the Gap who are doing a really good job with denim these days.
My favorite jeans cost me $30 and were from H&M. I also like Wranglers but people are catching on and they too are becoming expensive (they sell them at Barneys now). If you must spend major I would go for Earnest Sewn, Paper, AG Adriano Goldschmidt or of course, Diesel. Personally if I were to go there I'd pick APC and have them dry cleaned. Just be sure to try them on and remember they are now no longer just casualwear.
Topcoats:
I always dread seeing Samuel Jackson at the Oscars because he, like Steven Seagal and the dreadful Robin Williams wear these cheesy topcoats. Why?
Why?
I think they always make you look like you're just getting back from a western wedding on the Ponderosa. I think there are some gorgeous versions of the topcoat with 2 and 3 buttons (AX, Dunhill, Burberry Prorsum) but for many men this is hard to pull off without looking too overdressed or like Neo from the Matrix. I think tweed, glenplaid or herringbone versions are cozy like you just threw it on whereas microfibers or fabrics with sheen look too studied.
Or just forgo it altogether and get a real Mackintosh. Asprey and Burberry and make great ones but I would hit Club Monaco ($248) or J Crew ($178) and get something in an interesting color if possible. Make sure it hits mid thigh with zip and/or buttons.
Parkas are big this season too but the real fur hoods from Michael Kors are just too expensive and Prada's duffel coat will be tired by February. Prada Sport does a nice resort line worth checking out however. The lines to watch are Spiewak, Ben Sherman, 555Soul, Stussy, A Bathing Ape, and Theory. I like parkas and I think the best come from the Army/Navy store and can vary wildly in price from about 60 to 250 in price.
Jean Jacket
Levis, Diesel, Yamamoto, Margiela, Calvin Klein, Abercrombie, American Eagle -everyone has them and you should get one. I think spending more than $100 on one is silly unless it's vintage but they're getting up there in price. This season I want a corduroy version from APC ($140). Fat chance.
Underpinnings
2(ixst)'s thick squarecut tanks. Calvin Klein ($18) still makes the best but I'm really digging these sexy looks from these guys. Hermes has a t-shirt that costs over a thousand dollars. The obvious lesson here is that t-shirts are important their's clearly being produced from the skin of French newborns. Also spend a lot of money and go crazy with socks. You won't regret it and it will garner you much respect. Pantherella and Paul Smith and Paul Frank are great places to start.
Crewneck , V neck and Turtleneck Sweater.
Cashmere, man or at least merino wool. Forget ribbed. The turtleneck ought to have some stretch to it and fit snugly as should the crewneck. Spend what you want because you'll wear it a lot and quality counts. My pick for this year is from agnes b, Dries Van Noten. I should be so lucky. French Connection and Dolce and Gabbana do a crazy good chunky sweater Donegal style or marled wool. Get one and wait until there is snow on the ground to wear it.
The V can fit a little loser but don't do the t-shirt under the V- neck because that look is really over. A button down with a loose tie is way better. Ties always look appropriate and, I'm beginning to see, in just about every configuration. Vince and Theory do perfectly suitable versions which while pricier are the most stylish.
Well that's it. Now forget everything I've said because that is what fashion is all about. You can screw stuff up and add your own personal imprint and style but it's much more effective to work your own look when you know a few simple guidelines. When you look good you feel good and that's stylish and sexy. The goal.
Weekender Bags:
It's a good idea to get one of these guys. It's great for travel or laundry and it looks good just lying around or at the gym. One place you shouldn't look like a schlub is the airport (except when you're flying first class) and (if you must do your own), the laundromat. The best one I saw was from Barneys Private Label. Durable cotton canvas, sturdy, came in white, black, green and white but the best color was orange. It ran about $275 which I think is a lot but it looked great and was the perfect size.
Other versions I liked were; Cole Haan, Dolce & Gabbana, Louis Vuitton, Tods, T. Anthony, Jil Sander, Kenneth Cole and Jack Spade. Don't pay more than $250. Check LL Bean, and Banana Republic. Just make sure it's lightweight, not too loud, has handy compartments and closes properly with snaps or zippers. Leather is nice and doesn't give nearly as much as nylon or canvas but lasts longer and looks better as it ages. Maybe do both.
Aviators:
Whenever we're at war, aviators (and flight jackets) come back and why not? They're stylish and you must protect your eyes (and cargo pockets are good particularly on a jacket). I lose eyewear a lot but that doesn't deter me from coveting those which fall into the 3 digit price range (Persol, Cutler & Gross, Giorgio Armani). The best ones I've seen this season are from Ray-Ban. Mirrored or just polarized green, blue or red they get it right each time and they're durable and iconoclastic and reasonably priced at around $85-110. Even ugly people look choice in them.
Perry Ellis also has a very nice pair for a bit cheaper and Mossimo has a fab pair for $20 (the fab part). Or better yet take the bread you would have spent on the Armani occhiali and buy like 8 pair of cheapo ones at the gas station. Wearing them at night says I'm rich and high.
Polos:
Now I've consulted with some of my fashion forward friends on this. I'm torn about whether wearing a bright solid or striped polo shirt is appropriate if you're not in fact playing polo (I once saw Le Tigre wearing in fact Le Tigre and I thought, fuck that's so caucasian in the best possible way not ironic but iconic!) The answer is yes apparently. I'm told that the way it's worn is what counts. Growing up in Piedmont, California, in the '80's, 'tweens (myself included) used to wear a different polo shirt everyday, sometimes two at a time. Wearing two is stupid.
The modern way to wear polos is almost like a fashion magazine spread: with a tie as a belt. I object to this style because it looks like you're trying too hard which is never the look I want to rock but I can't deny that in the right manner the look is dope. Also I just bought an orange ribbon belt from Old Navy which looks hot is cheap as hell and looks preppylicious with a polo.
My fashion sages also say one look to sport is luxe meaning cashmere or light Italian merinos with or without buttons. I was also told to steer clear of big labels or insignia (too common unless you're on the Cape) go for layering with a jean jacket and/or blazer and try long sleeves. Neutral colors that fit or Paul Smith- like stripes will create that sophistication that will set you apart from the pack. The best brands are still Polo Ralph Lauren and Lacoste especially and run about $75- 100. Ralph has the new trendy oversized polo player emblem now. Avoid these.
Getting them in off colors like taupe, grey and pink are good but I'd go for black, white and red too. The type I want this season are from Fred Perry, Marc Jacobs and J Crew which has a dizzying array of striped versions and there is always a good sale both in stores and online for around $20. Cheerio!
Sneakers
A good pair of tennis shoes are key this season and only a few classics will fit the bill. Black or white are evidently the only real options with a preference for white. Very Pharell. Adidas' Stan Smiths, Rod Lavers or Sambas look choice with nearly every outfit this fall and always look stylish and sexy and are reasonably priced around $60 -80. I cannot resist a guy in Sambas yet I often must.
K-Swiss and Puma also make a very simple no frills sports shoe that is tres sportif. I also think Vans rock. I'm going with three pairs of sneakers because this is pretty much all that I wear. I bought a pair of Golas for $40 marked down from 85 at a summer closeout. I want a pair of white Converse lowtop Chuck Taylors ($40) and some Asics($45) I think any more than $100 for a pair of tennis shoes is excessive. John Varvatos cannot change the fact that part of the shoe is made from rubber.
Cordovans and Brogues
A good pair of Italian leather shoes will never fail you but, if you can afford it, get a pair of cordovans, which are very basic dress shoes which resemble bucks. The trend for this season is to wear them shiny without socks and with shorts, a look that few, if any straight man should attempt since you'll only drive homos wild with desire and turn chicks off. But it is a good look with the right shoe.
I was in Chicago many years ago and bought a pair of them from Johnston & Murphy ($210) and wore them everywhere and they got me noticed (and laid) and it made my life better albeit it briefly. Shoes can change your life so let them and invest in them wisely and often. Great shoes can transform a mediocre outfit. Women know this.
To Boot by Adam Derrick, Jil Sander, Church's and Giorgio Armani do a beautiful job with leather soled brogues and cordovans. JM Weston, John Lobb and Fratelli Rossetti are also fabulous but can run from $350 to 1000. Just remember: Shoes say a great deal about you and how you live your life and that's important when you don't feel like talking about it. I'm holding out for some vintage Ferragamo wingtips and I want suede Gucci loafers. I left my beloved Banana Republic ones at a rooftop Halloween party in Bushwick (no, it wasn't crack). I don't recall what I wore home but I took a cab so I just walked upstairs in socks. Cashmere socks from Monique from Ilux.
Jeans: Black and White + Colored Chinos
I would kill for a pair of Dolce & Gabbana jeans.
Recently I once had a heated discussion with my Mom about the rationale of spending $300 and up for a pair of jeans. My Mom was unclear what the point of that was and I should never have told her. All I could say in response to her was that jeans were like underwear. Fit and intimacy. You want your jeans to be special and fit you just the way you like them. Levi 501s are just as fine and at $50 a much better value not to mention the Gap who are doing a really good job with denim these days.
My favorite jeans cost me $30 and were from H&M. I also like Wranglers but people are catching on and they too are becoming expensive (they sell them at Barneys now). If you must spend major I would go for Earnest Sewn, Paper, AG Adriano Goldschmidt or of course, Diesel. Personally if I were to go there I'd pick APC and have them dry cleaned. Just be sure to try them on and remember they are now no longer just casualwear.
Topcoats:
I always dread seeing Samuel Jackson at the Oscars because he, like Steven Seagal and the dreadful Robin Williams wear these cheesy topcoats. Why?
Why?
I think they always make you look like you're just getting back from a western wedding on the Ponderosa. I think there are some gorgeous versions of the topcoat with 2 and 3 buttons (AX, Dunhill, Burberry Prorsum) but for many men this is hard to pull off without looking too overdressed or like Neo from the Matrix. I think tweed, glenplaid or herringbone versions are cozy like you just threw it on whereas microfibers or fabrics with sheen look too studied.
Or just forgo it altogether and get a real Mackintosh. Asprey and Burberry and make great ones but I would hit Club Monaco ($248) or J Crew ($178) and get something in an interesting color if possible. Make sure it hits mid thigh with zip and/or buttons.
Parkas are big this season too but the real fur hoods from Michael Kors are just too expensive and Prada's duffel coat will be tired by February. Prada Sport does a nice resort line worth checking out however. The lines to watch are Spiewak, Ben Sherman, 555Soul, Stussy, A Bathing Ape, and Theory. I like parkas and I think the best come from the Army/Navy store and can vary wildly in price from about 60 to 250 in price.
Jean Jacket
Levis, Diesel, Yamamoto, Margiela, Calvin Klein, Abercrombie, American Eagle -everyone has them and you should get one. I think spending more than $100 on one is silly unless it's vintage but they're getting up there in price. This season I want a corduroy version from APC ($140). Fat chance.
Underpinnings
2(ixst)'s thick squarecut tanks. Calvin Klein ($18) still makes the best but I'm really digging these sexy looks from these guys. Hermes has a t-shirt that costs over a thousand dollars. The obvious lesson here is that t-shirts are important their's clearly being produced from the skin of French newborns. Also spend a lot of money and go crazy with socks. You won't regret it and it will garner you much respect. Pantherella and Paul Smith and Paul Frank are great places to start.
Crewneck , V neck and Turtleneck Sweater.
Cashmere, man or at least merino wool. Forget ribbed. The turtleneck ought to have some stretch to it and fit snugly as should the crewneck. Spend what you want because you'll wear it a lot and quality counts. My pick for this year is from agnes b, Dries Van Noten. I should be so lucky. French Connection and Dolce and Gabbana do a crazy good chunky sweater Donegal style or marled wool. Get one and wait until there is snow on the ground to wear it.
The V can fit a little loser but don't do the t-shirt under the V- neck because that look is really over. A button down with a loose tie is way better. Ties always look appropriate and, I'm beginning to see, in just about every configuration. Vince and Theory do perfectly suitable versions which while pricier are the most stylish.
Well that's it. Now forget everything I've said because that is what fashion is all about. You can screw stuff up and add your own personal imprint and style but it's much more effective to work your own look when you know a few simple guidelines. When you look good you feel good and that's stylish and sexy. The goal.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Friday, May 20, 2011
Lady
Truth is a demure lady, much too ladylike to knock you on the head and drag you to her cave. She is there, but the people must want her and seek her out.---
William F. Buckley
William F. Buckley
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Fashion Guidelines For Chicks (Revisited)
This list came about almost a decade ago and I am both surprised and proud to report that the guidelines I adhere to still ring true. Amended, edited and reproportioned they are as follows:
ONE
Shoes.
Fantastic shoes elevate an average outfit so purchase many of them and stop at nothing to get them. Take Sarah Jessica Parker, star of hit franchise, 'Sex In The City' for example and you'll catch my drift. SJP may not be the prettiest belle of the ball but she has great legs, gorgeous hair, doe-like eyes and her four-inch Sergio Rossi slingbacks have four-year-old girls popping boners.
Fine footwear says where you're going, where you've been and how you'll get there.Whether they've come from Payless or Jimmy Choo doesn't really matter. If they are special, BUY THEM and don't think twice about it. The growing percentage of the world which spends $2 a day to survive aren't concerned with looking good because they don't have to be. But your public craves it from you and the paparazzi are everywhere so dress the part of imperialist czarina starting with your feet.
TWO
Suit, Shirt and Jeans
Every well-dressed man and woman needs a great suit, a crisp white oxford shirt and a perfect pair of jeans.
There are far too many scenarios- interviews, funerals, cocktail parties, weekend getaways, workplace functions- which require a killer outfit at a moment's notice and few garments express this more effortlesslessy than a fine suit. Dress it up with a fresh flower, t-shirt and flats.
Should you have the ultimate luxury of having a bespoke suit made do not pass it up. Never visit the Far East without having something made-to-measure because this is the only time in fashion that perfection exists--- to say nothing of haute couture.
Also, when you find a shirt or jeans that work buy several pieces because the details, dimensions and availability will change from season to season particularly with mid-range national retailers.
Once you've secured the suit(s) begin the lifelong hunting and gathering of the ever-present always necessary search for black and red cocktail dresses.
THREE
Undergarments
Ascertain what your actual brassiere size is from experts you trust and purchase many bras and panties. Lingerie is like a marital aid also known as a vibrator. It's a delicious joy to own, an at once personal and private choice, satisfaction is almost always guaranteed and everyone involved wins. The pricier, more confectionary and scandalous the sets the better. You can't go wrong with beautiful hosiery either. I cannot say the same for pantyhose.
FOUR
Grooming
Drink lots and lots of water daily, get in the habit of doing your own fingernails, let a pro take care of your feet and take care of your skin and your teeth. Corpulent or anorexic, misshapen or saintly, a flawless complexion, moisturized, glowing skin and lovely hands and feet are key elements in looking polished and sexy. Ever notice how pornstars always have impeccable tootsies and nails and are always tan and shiny? They are the tools of the trade, darlings.
FIVE
Jewelry
Diamonds and pearls are a girl's best friend. Ask Marilyn Monroe, Elizabeth Taylor, Zsa Zsa Gabor the artist formerly known as Prince. Baubles, bangles and beads spark hatred from the havenots and look marvelous regardless of the outfit. Invest or better still inherit a set of diamond studs and a string of pearls. These are the universe's precious and semi-precious gifts to you and the payoff for having an unattractive groom.
When one wears the perfect strand or carats one exudes confidence. After a quick shag in the loo and the resulting DNA on your pencil skirt, dazzling jewelry will allow you to appear put together which makes all the difference when you bump into his ex. Accessories in general are critical in setting yourself apart from the pack. They create flair.
SIX
Accentuate The Positives
Mirrors do not tell the whole story and neither do your friends so when it comes to how you look don't trust either of them. Your partner is not a stylist and your friends just want you to be happy. Trust your instincts, know your strengths, and understand your weaknesses. If you must ask whether a garment makes your ass looks big the odds are that it does but remember that a great ass is an asset. Jennifer Lopez, Kim Kardashian and Beyonce can attest to this. Find out what styles look best on you and stick with them. If you have no earthly idea what looks nice comfort is a good start.
Sidebar
Sharon Stone in a Michael Kors turtleneck, Gap jacket, Escada ball gown and a gardenia at the Oscars several years back nailed it. She doesn't always get it right but few people do and she always owns it and has a ball. Let us not forget conversely Gwyneth Paltrow's Jean Paul Gaultier dress and cornrows also at the Oscars. Big mistake.
SEVEN
Fragrance
Don't underestimate the power of a signature fragrance. You could be wearing overalls (heaven forbid) stained with mud and smelling porcine but when you are wearing Coco by Chanel parfum that is what that randy stable boy will remember long after you've picked the last bit of hay from your hair and his work furlough program comes to an end. Pick an elegant and sophisticated scent or two and stand by them.
EIGHT
Hair
Don't worry about your hair. Comb it, keep it clean and neat. $600 for a haircut is vain, obscene and unnecessary none of which are appealing for very long. Think of how smoking hot Demi Moore looked in G.I. Jane or Persis Khambatta from the Star Trek movie and they were bald.
Lustrous hair does add polish but bedhead is a cool band, a fine hair product and is desirable because it requires no maintenance. Stylists spend hours to achieve that post-coital up-for- three days, rockstar junkie hairstyle and for what?
NINE
Handbags
Purchase many handbags. This is the fashionable woman's calling card. It expresses instantly to everyone what you like and how far you'll reach to possess it. Hermes produce lovely bags called Birkins and Kellys. If you are a socialite with no imagination and nothing to do but collect bags and divorce husbands this is the bag for you. Be creative! The more original and off-kilter the bag the better.
If I were to choose one pricey carryall it has to be Louis Vuitton shopper or "Speedy" tote. It sets the right tone, is sturdy, classic and most of all big enough to carry a six-pack. My rule-of-thumb with everything I purchase is: Will this look good ten years from now. This rule however doesn't apply to handbags so look to quality construction, details and personal taste. Ignore knockoffs search for vintage.
Note:
If you carry your keys, phone, water, iPad, Harper's Bazaar, a journal, the entire eyeshadow pallette from NARS, gum, a Clif Bar, gym shoes, a yoga mat, an umbrella, a flask, and another mini-purse disguised as a wallet in your bag at all times don't go out and buy a Judith Leiber minaudiere. Select purses which suit your lifestyle the buzzwords being and easy everyday luxury and common sense.
TEN
Size
The MOST important rule to follow in fashion for either sex from now until forever is FIT.
Fit is more important than style, color, fabric, trends, labels, price or sentimental attachment. If it doesn't fit it isn't stylish. Period. Avoid the dreaded muffin top. Make your tailor and drycleaner your best friends and use them wisely and often. Know them by name and send them holiday cards. They can save your life and they should know you appreciate it.
ONE
Shoes.
Fantastic shoes elevate an average outfit so purchase many of them and stop at nothing to get them. Take Sarah Jessica Parker, star of hit franchise, 'Sex In The City' for example and you'll catch my drift. SJP may not be the prettiest belle of the ball but she has great legs, gorgeous hair, doe-like eyes and her four-inch Sergio Rossi slingbacks have four-year-old girls popping boners.
Fine footwear says where you're going, where you've been and how you'll get there.Whether they've come from Payless or Jimmy Choo doesn't really matter. If they are special, BUY THEM and don't think twice about it. The growing percentage of the world which spends $2 a day to survive aren't concerned with looking good because they don't have to be. But your public craves it from you and the paparazzi are everywhere so dress the part of imperialist czarina starting with your feet.
TWO
Suit, Shirt and Jeans
Every well-dressed man and woman needs a great suit, a crisp white oxford shirt and a perfect pair of jeans.
There are far too many scenarios- interviews, funerals, cocktail parties, weekend getaways, workplace functions- which require a killer outfit at a moment's notice and few garments express this more effortlesslessy than a fine suit. Dress it up with a fresh flower, t-shirt and flats.
Should you have the ultimate luxury of having a bespoke suit made do not pass it up. Never visit the Far East without having something made-to-measure because this is the only time in fashion that perfection exists--- to say nothing of haute couture.
Also, when you find a shirt or jeans that work buy several pieces because the details, dimensions and availability will change from season to season particularly with mid-range national retailers.
Once you've secured the suit(s) begin the lifelong hunting and gathering of the ever-present always necessary search for black and red cocktail dresses.
THREE
Undergarments
Ascertain what your actual brassiere size is from experts you trust and purchase many bras and panties. Lingerie is like a marital aid also known as a vibrator. It's a delicious joy to own, an at once personal and private choice, satisfaction is almost always guaranteed and everyone involved wins. The pricier, more confectionary and scandalous the sets the better. You can't go wrong with beautiful hosiery either. I cannot say the same for pantyhose.
FOUR
Grooming
Drink lots and lots of water daily, get in the habit of doing your own fingernails, let a pro take care of your feet and take care of your skin and your teeth. Corpulent or anorexic, misshapen or saintly, a flawless complexion, moisturized, glowing skin and lovely hands and feet are key elements in looking polished and sexy. Ever notice how pornstars always have impeccable tootsies and nails and are always tan and shiny? They are the tools of the trade, darlings.
FIVE
Jewelry
Diamonds and pearls are a girl's best friend. Ask Marilyn Monroe, Elizabeth Taylor, Zsa Zsa Gabor the artist formerly known as Prince. Baubles, bangles and beads spark hatred from the havenots and look marvelous regardless of the outfit. Invest or better still inherit a set of diamond studs and a string of pearls. These are the universe's precious and semi-precious gifts to you and the payoff for having an unattractive groom.
When one wears the perfect strand or carats one exudes confidence. After a quick shag in the loo and the resulting DNA on your pencil skirt, dazzling jewelry will allow you to appear put together which makes all the difference when you bump into his ex. Accessories in general are critical in setting yourself apart from the pack. They create flair.
SIX
Accentuate The Positives
Mirrors do not tell the whole story and neither do your friends so when it comes to how you look don't trust either of them. Your partner is not a stylist and your friends just want you to be happy. Trust your instincts, know your strengths, and understand your weaknesses. If you must ask whether a garment makes your ass looks big the odds are that it does but remember that a great ass is an asset. Jennifer Lopez, Kim Kardashian and Beyonce can attest to this. Find out what styles look best on you and stick with them. If you have no earthly idea what looks nice comfort is a good start.
Sidebar
Sharon Stone in a Michael Kors turtleneck, Gap jacket, Escada ball gown and a gardenia at the Oscars several years back nailed it. She doesn't always get it right but few people do and she always owns it and has a ball. Let us not forget conversely Gwyneth Paltrow's Jean Paul Gaultier dress and cornrows also at the Oscars. Big mistake.
SEVEN
Fragrance
Don't underestimate the power of a signature fragrance. You could be wearing overalls (heaven forbid) stained with mud and smelling porcine but when you are wearing Coco by Chanel parfum that is what that randy stable boy will remember long after you've picked the last bit of hay from your hair and his work furlough program comes to an end. Pick an elegant and sophisticated scent or two and stand by them.
EIGHT
Hair
Don't worry about your hair. Comb it, keep it clean and neat. $600 for a haircut is vain, obscene and unnecessary none of which are appealing for very long. Think of how smoking hot Demi Moore looked in G.I. Jane or Persis Khambatta from the Star Trek movie and they were bald.
Lustrous hair does add polish but bedhead is a cool band, a fine hair product and is desirable because it requires no maintenance. Stylists spend hours to achieve that post-coital up-for- three days, rockstar junkie hairstyle and for what?
NINE
Handbags
Purchase many handbags. This is the fashionable woman's calling card. It expresses instantly to everyone what you like and how far you'll reach to possess it. Hermes produce lovely bags called Birkins and Kellys. If you are a socialite with no imagination and nothing to do but collect bags and divorce husbands this is the bag for you. Be creative! The more original and off-kilter the bag the better.
If I were to choose one pricey carryall it has to be Louis Vuitton shopper or "Speedy" tote. It sets the right tone, is sturdy, classic and most of all big enough to carry a six-pack. My rule-of-thumb with everything I purchase is: Will this look good ten years from now. This rule however doesn't apply to handbags so look to quality construction, details and personal taste. Ignore knockoffs search for vintage.
Note:
If you carry your keys, phone, water, iPad, Harper's Bazaar, a journal, the entire eyeshadow pallette from NARS, gum, a Clif Bar, gym shoes, a yoga mat, an umbrella, a flask, and another mini-purse disguised as a wallet in your bag at all times don't go out and buy a Judith Leiber minaudiere. Select purses which suit your lifestyle the buzzwords being and easy everyday luxury and common sense.
TEN
Size
The MOST important rule to follow in fashion for either sex from now until forever is FIT.
Fit is more important than style, color, fabric, trends, labels, price or sentimental attachment. If it doesn't fit it isn't stylish. Period. Avoid the dreaded muffin top. Make your tailor and drycleaner your best friends and use them wisely and often. Know them by name and send them holiday cards. They can save your life and they should know you appreciate it.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Friday, April 15, 2011
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
Friday, March 4, 2011
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Hot Wing Dip
3 lbs. roasted chicken breast
2- 8oz packages of Philadelphia cream cheese
1 C Marie's blue cheese dressing
10 oz Texas Pete's hot sauce
1 C diced celery, sauteed
1 bag shredded sharp cheddar cheese
Roast breast filets at 325 degrees for an hour until golden brown.
Allow to cool and break chicken meat up with fingers sans fatty parts.
Mix with celery, cream cheese broken up into small chunks, blue cheese dressing and the hot sauce.
Pour into a butter-greased 9"x13" Pyrex tray mixing the ingredients thoroughly until smoothed in the tray.
Bake at 350 degrees for 20- 30 minutes.
Allow to stand for 10 minutes before serving with scoopy chips and inch long celery stalks.
2- 8oz packages of Philadelphia cream cheese
1 C Marie's blue cheese dressing
10 oz Texas Pete's hot sauce
1 C diced celery, sauteed
1 bag shredded sharp cheddar cheese
Roast breast filets at 325 degrees for an hour until golden brown.
Allow to cool and break chicken meat up with fingers sans fatty parts.
Mix with celery, cream cheese broken up into small chunks, blue cheese dressing and the hot sauce.
Pour into a butter-greased 9"x13" Pyrex tray mixing the ingredients thoroughly until smoothed in the tray.
Bake at 350 degrees for 20- 30 minutes.
Allow to stand for 10 minutes before serving with scoopy chips and inch long celery stalks.
Monday, February 21, 2011
A Course In Miracles
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?".
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
Marianne Williamson
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?".
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
Marianne Williamson
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Friday, February 18, 2011
Polite/Politic
It is a wise thing to be polite;
Consequently it is a stupid thing to be rude.
To make enemies,
By unnecessary and willful incivility, is just as insane a proceeding
As to set your house on fire.
For politeness is like a counter- an avowedly false coin
With which it is foolish to be stingy.
A sensible man willl be generous in the use of it...
Wax, a substance naturally hard and brittle, can be made soft
By the application of a little warmth, so that it will take any shape that you please.
In the same way, by being polite and friendly, you can make people pliable and obliging,
Even though they are apt to be crabbed and malevolent.
Hence politeness is to human nature what warmth is to wax.
Arthur Schopenhauer
1788-1860
Consequently it is a stupid thing to be rude.
To make enemies,
By unnecessary and willful incivility, is just as insane a proceeding
As to set your house on fire.
For politeness is like a counter- an avowedly false coin
With which it is foolish to be stingy.
A sensible man willl be generous in the use of it...
Wax, a substance naturally hard and brittle, can be made soft
By the application of a little warmth, so that it will take any shape that you please.
In the same way, by being polite and friendly, you can make people pliable and obliging,
Even though they are apt to be crabbed and malevolent.
Hence politeness is to human nature what warmth is to wax.
Arthur Schopenhauer
1788-1860
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Friday, February 4, 2011
Friday, January 28, 2011
Ifs
If you open it close it.
If you turn it on turn it off.
If you unlock it lock it up.
If you break it admit it.
If you can't fix it it call in someone who can.
If you borrow it return it.
If you value it take care of it.
If you make a mess clean it up.
If you move it put it back.
If it belongs to someone else, get permission to use it.
If you don't know how to operate it leave it alone.
If it's none of your business don't ask questions.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Pejoratively
I need a lover to give me
The kind of love that would last
Always.
I need somebody
Uplifting
To take me
Away.
I want a lover who knows me
Who understands how I feel
Inside.
Someone to comfort
And hold me.
Through the long
Lonely nights.
Till the dawn.
Why don't you take me away?
Dreamlover?
Come rescue me.
Take me up
Take me down
Take me
Anywhere you want to baby
Now!
I need you
So desperately.
Won't you please
Come around
'Cause I wanna share
Forever
With you, baby.
I don't want another
Pretender.
To disillusion me
One
More
Time.
Whispering.
Words of
Forever
Playing with
My mind.
I need someone
To hold on
To.
The kind of love that won't
Fly
Away.
I just want someone
To belong to
Everyday
Of my life
Always
So come
And take me
Away.
Dreamlover?
Come rescue me.
Take me up
Take me down
Take me
Anywhere you want to baby
Now!
I need you
So desperately.
Won't you please
Come around
'Cause I wanna share
Forever
With you, baby.
The kind of love that would last
Always.
I need somebody
Uplifting
To take me
Away.
I want a lover who knows me
Who understands how I feel
Inside.
Someone to comfort
And hold me.
Through the long
Lonely nights.
Till the dawn.
Why don't you take me away?
Dreamlover?
Come rescue me.
Take me up
Take me down
Take me
Anywhere you want to baby
Now!
I need you
So desperately.
Won't you please
Come around
'Cause I wanna share
Forever
With you, baby.
I don't want another
Pretender.
To disillusion me
One
More
Time.
Whispering.
Words of
Forever
Playing with
My mind.
I need someone
To hold on
To.
The kind of love that won't
Fly
Away.
I just want someone
To belong to
Everyday
Of my life
Always
So come
And take me
Away.
Dreamlover?
Come rescue me.
Take me up
Take me down
Take me
Anywhere you want to baby
Now!
I need you
So desperately.
Won't you please
Come around
'Cause I wanna share
Forever
With you, baby.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Vanity Fair Questionnaire 2011: Jason Duvalle Jones
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Privacy.
What is your greatest fear?
Boredom.
Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Jonah.
Which living person do you most admire?
Many.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Drama.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Myopia.
What is your greatest extravagance?
Music.
What is your favorite journey?
Home.
What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Chastity.
On what occasion do you lie?
Occasionally.
What do you dislike most about your appearance?
Teeth.
Which living person do you most despise?
Few.
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
"Perfect" or "That's funny...".
What is your greatest regret?
Herschel C. Walker.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Patricia A. Jones.
When and where were you happiest?
Here, now.
Which talent would you most like to have?
Piano.
What is your current state of mind?
Different.
If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
Tact.
If you could change one thing about your family what would it be?
Frequency.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Dance.
If you were to come back as a person or thing what do you think it would be?
Thing.
If you could choose what to come back as what would it be?
Person.
What is you most treasured possession?
Health.
What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Addiction.
Where would you like to live?
Corfu.
What is your favorite occupation?
Sex.
What is your most marked characteristic?
Eyebrows.
What is the quality you most like in a man?
Grace.
What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Poise.
What do you most value in your friends?
Discretion.
Who are your favorite writers?
Lao Tzu, Augusten Burroughs, Fran Lebowitz, Martin Amis..
Who is you favorite hero of fiction?
Clark Kent.
Who are your heroes in real life?
Kids.
What are your favorite names?
Chase, Celeste, Pilar, Marina, Tip,
What is it that you most dislike?
Pettiness.
How would you like to die?
Later.
What is your motto?
'Wait for the wiggle'.
Privacy.
What is your greatest fear?
Boredom.
Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Jonah.
Which living person do you most admire?
Many.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Drama.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Myopia.
What is your greatest extravagance?
Music.
What is your favorite journey?
Home.
What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Chastity.
On what occasion do you lie?
Occasionally.
What do you dislike most about your appearance?
Teeth.
Which living person do you most despise?
Few.
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
"Perfect" or "That's funny...".
What is your greatest regret?
Herschel C. Walker.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Patricia A. Jones.
When and where were you happiest?
Here, now.
Which talent would you most like to have?
Piano.
What is your current state of mind?
Different.
If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
Tact.
If you could change one thing about your family what would it be?
Frequency.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Dance.
If you were to come back as a person or thing what do you think it would be?
Thing.
If you could choose what to come back as what would it be?
Person.
What is you most treasured possession?
Health.
What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Addiction.
Where would you like to live?
Corfu.
What is your favorite occupation?
Sex.
What is your most marked characteristic?
Eyebrows.
What is the quality you most like in a man?
Grace.
What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Poise.
What do you most value in your friends?
Discretion.
Who are your favorite writers?
Lao Tzu, Augusten Burroughs, Fran Lebowitz, Martin Amis..
Who is you favorite hero of fiction?
Clark Kent.
Who are your heroes in real life?
Kids.
What are your favorite names?
Chase, Celeste, Pilar, Marina, Tip,
What is it that you most dislike?
Pettiness.
How would you like to die?
Later.
What is your motto?
'Wait for the wiggle'.
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